The Gluten-free, Diary-free, Low-acid cleanse

Ok, I know it sounds absolutely miserable... and for the first 2 days it absolutely is, but the results are pretty amazing, so I think it is worth a try for most people.  The first time you do it, it is supposed to be 30 days, which is very difficult (because most approved foods require more prep time, and you can't really just pick something up if you're in a hurry), but a week works pretty well too and gets somewhat similar results.  Those results are more energy, a better functioning digestive system, a more even mood, and a general feeling of lightness.  It's great for people who have reactive digestive systems (acid reflux, bloatedness or other unpleasantness).

So here's the deets:
NO:
-red meat
-milk or milk based products such as cheese, yogurt or ice cream
-caffeine
-alcohol
-acidic fruits (tomatoes, oranges, grapefruit)
-wheat, corn, white rice or white potatoes
-sugar
-foods that contain trace amounts of mold (melons, peanuts)
-prepared foods (for the most part, if there are, like, 3 ingredients, and you can understand what they all are, it's ok)

YES:
-lots of low-acid fruits and vegetables (bananas, berries, cucumbers, carrots)
-approved grains and starches: brown rice (gross), buckwheat (pretty great), quinoa (you can make it taste like anything!!!), and sweet potatoes (perfect all by themselves)
-white meat and fish in moderation
-other sources of protein: beans, dense nuts (like almonds), tofu, eggs, avocado
-soy, rice, or almond milk, small amounts of honey as sweetener, herbal decaffeinated tea, extra virgin olive oil, herbs and spices, KIND bars, and small amounts of salt are ok.

When you are trying to adhere to this diet, you want to make sure that you are also trying to follow these guidelines, so you feel healthy and balanced at the end of the day:
1. drink lots of water, shoot for the 64 ounces a day that are recommended
2. chew your food more than you think you need to (I have found that, when I am super-excited about a meal, I tend to prepare my next forkful while I am still noshing on the first, causing me to chew less and rush through to get to that next amazing bite.  The result is, not realizing I am full until I am uncomfortably full).
3. try to eat 2 big leafy salads a day, as meals, or alongside of your entree portion of protein for dinner.  It's a tall order, but if you at least get one every day, and 2 some days, you're winning.
4. try to prepare most of your foods the day that you are eating them (refrigerating sometimes gives food time to form mold, which defeats the purpose.  This is one rule that I absolutely never follow when I am on this cleanse).

Obviously, everyone is different, but here is a little breakdown of my personal experience, because I want you to be prepared for the highs and lows:
days 1-2:  I am hungry, angry, and bitchy.  The combination of sugar and caffeine withdrawal plus my stomach thinking it really needs a bagel causes me to lash out at loved ones, cry, and go to bed early, complaining myself to sleep.  I have found that these symptoms are MUCH more tolerable if you manage to wean yourself off of coffee a few days prior to the rest of the diet.
days 3-4: I am starting to feel the positive effects of the diet, I am not more energetic, but I don't feel like I NEED coffee to get through the day.  Still moments of big cravings for things like donuts and bacon.
days 5-7: false feelings of hunger subside, I feel lighter and more energetic, with a greater sense of awareness, and my stomach loves me. 

In the days after the cleanse, you should introduce your vices back into your diet slowly (don't go on a meat-and-candy binge), but you might find that your body is more receptive to these foods now that it has had a little break, and you will probably find that your caffeine vices have less of a hold on you.