Monday, September 23, 2013

I'm going going, back back to Jersey, Jersey.

So I don't think the phrase "falling off the wagon" effectively expresses just how off-task I have been with my diet and exercise over the last month.  To extend the metaphor, I have fallen so hard off the wagon that my best bet was to dust myself off and catch a bus to another town... in New Jersey.
My husband and I settled on an adorable bungalow-style house in mid-August and moved the day after settlement.  Moving was followed by a brief period of unpacking boxes and rearranging rooms during times when we would normally be cooking, cleaning, or moving our bodies and getting fresh air.  During this time we allowed ourselves the customary pizza dinners, and indulged in hoagiefest on more than 3 occasions.  Then came a huge setback: My husband could no longer stand the sight of our last-renovated-in-the-1960s fart of a kitchen, and we headed down the path of home renovation.  Our friends didn't even get a chance to say goodbye before we were tearing down layers of wallpaper, chipping up linoleum floors, and fighting about design elements and budget limitations.  (To clarify, when we bought the house, we knew we didn't like the kitchen, but we thought we could at least get a couple of years out of it before we started ripping it apart.  No such luck.) Currently we have the fridge (working), stove (disconnected), and dishwasher (also disconnected... *sob*) in the dining room, so our eat-at-home options are extremely limited. 

Living in Collingswood, NJ (which is a dry town) comes with an amazing selection of delicious BYO style restaurants to choose from, but none of these options are especially cheap, especially when you're eating out for nearly every meal.  But we did find some amazing gems over the last few weeks:
1. Indiya: 612 Haddon Ave in Collingswood, NJ.  They have a $10 lunch buffet which includes some of their most fabulous entrees, including Chicken Makani, Palak Paneer, and a few others, naan, rice, and a couple of lovely desserts.  Don't feel cheated if you get the takeout version instead; it's a good deal more expensive, but you can get a couple of meals out of the quantity provided.  If I had my way, we would be eating Indiya every night, but alas, we are white people with white people digestive systems, and there is a set quantity of Indian food that our intestines can handle.
2. El Sitio: 729 Haddon Ave in Collingswood, NJ.  This place isn't cheap, but it is hands-down, my favorite restaurant that I have visited so far in Collingswood.  An Ecuadorian grille and cafe with tons of amazing options to choose from, empanadas, ceviche, patacons, and for you're less adventurous friend or family member who has come along for the ride: an excellent selection of artisanal burgers.  Nice.
3. The Bistro in Haddonfield NJ: Looking for a swankier downtown to browse after your meal?  Haddonfield has a charming main street with an old-fashioned feel, but it's packed with great eateries and upscale shopping.  The Bistro was one of our first dining experiences in the neighborhood, and one of my favorite dishes there is a "breakfast sundae" which contains scoops of thick greek yogurt, granola, honey, and fresh berries.
4. Bahama Breeze in the parking lot of the Cherry Hill Mall:  It killed me to write that.  I know, I know, it's the island equivalent of an Olive Garden, but HEAR ME OUT.  My first experience with a Bahama Breeze was at the King of Prussia Mall (apparently their favorite spot is in prestigious mall parking lots; not helping me with my hipster-hate gut-reaction), and I fell in love pretty instantly.  They had a humongous chandelier full of enameled metal parakeets!  How could it be bad?!  The food always tastes fresh and light.  My favorite is the Key West Fish Tacos (they are in the sandwiches section of the menu, in case you are reading this from a booth in Bahama Breeze, and are overwhelmed by the textbook-sized menu in front of you).  They are made with a lovely piece of seasoned Mahi-Mahi with avocado, and pico de gallo.  You can choose 2 or 3 tacos, and you can get (this is with any entree) A SIDE OF LEGIT FRUIT SALAD WITH A SCOOP OF HAAGEN DASZ MANGO SORBET ON TOP.  Legit fruit salad is a technical term used to describe fruit salad comprised of more than just assorted not-quite-ripe melons with an occasional marachino cherry.  In this case, it refers to one made up of pineapple, red grapes, and strawberries.  No foolies.  2 tacos with magical fruit salad for $7.49. 

Any other attempts at proper eating have been thwarted by places like Saladworks, who offer me delicious, healthy options at a reasonable price, and then supply me with a sample of their new gigantic cookie; Lemon White Chocolate Chip... assholes.

We have also been noshing on frozen bagels, eggo waffles, kind bars, clif bars, and bags of chips while my husband toils away at re-tiling the floor, reconstructing a wall, and installing the garbage disposal, and I bitch about all that bothersome sanding and painting I have to do!
Tonight I have just eaten a not-to-be-named brand of TV dinner aimed at people on a diet, and my beef potroast looked, smelled, and tasted (how consistent!) like really expensive dogfood. 

I'm just going to curl up in a corner and cry until my kitchen finishes itself out of pity.

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