My husband and I found out in March that we are expecting our first baby! Today, I am 25 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty good. My energy is almost normal, and I am not as susceptible to the nausea associated with first trimester nonsense. I do, however, become hungry quickly and ravenously, and my cravings, while not crazy, are... interesting:
1. Seems the little man prefers salty to sweet foods, so I often find myself ordering desert out of habit and then after a bite, pawning it off on one of my unfortunate trying-to-diet friends.
2. No seafood. Really, buddy? I let you live in my stomach for all of this time and you would deprive me of one of my favorite food categories? Rude. But it works out alright because I have to watch my mercury anyway.
3. No mushrooms.
4. Yes to like, every dairy product known to mankind. And I will straight eat a tube of goat cheese right now. With a fork.
But all of that aside, I wanted to talk about something unexpected that happened fairly recently, when my baby bump became more obvious.
I was initially concerned about the inevitable weight-gaining part of being pregnant, as I have had some body-image issues in the past that I will not bore you with now, but I'm sure many women can relate to not feeling thin enough, fit enough, and definitely not flat enough in the tummy area. I made sure that my midwife and my husband both knew about my past body image issues, and asked them to keep an eye on me and keep me on track. In other words, hide the scale, think about the health of the baby at all times, and enjoy the many interesting changes going on in my body.
The funny thing is... so far it hasn't been a problem. I have had a few moments where I have caught a glimpse of myself naked in the mirror and thought "Whose tits are those?! And why are they pointing that way?!" But this passes rather quickly and I go back to feeling sleepy, hungry, or really really happy.
A couple of months ago I received some lightly worn maternity clothes from my fabulous sister-in-law, including a tankini. When I tried it on, I was disappointed and felt that I looked bloated and short. The stomach area was also a little loose (because I'm sure it's designed for someone closer to the END of their pregnancy), so it seemed to be moving around a lot, which made me uncomfortable.
A while after that I happened upon a rack of discounted bathing suits at a local shop and spotted an adorable black and pink Betsey Johnson bikini and fell in love. I tried it on thinking it would be funny... and I loved it. I loved my big round belly sticking out between these sexy little swimsuit pieces. I felt feminine and lovely, and powerful. So I bought it.
I have worn it A LOT so far this summer. I think it is also worth noting here, that if I had tried on the suit last year, I don't think I would have bought it. I would have thought it was too young for me, too revealing for my not-quite-perfect-yet stomach. Or, if I ended up buying it in an effort to "get out of my comfort zone" it would have sat in the bottom of my underwear drawer, and I would have maybe gotten up the nerve to wear it once before donating it to a thinner friend. It would have revealed all of my physical shortcomings to me every time I looked in the mirror, and I would have felt exposed.
Recently, a friend posted an adorable infographic on facebook which read "How to get a bikini body: put a bikini on your body" I love it.
I think it is interesting that this pregnancy is giving me a new respect for and love of my body. I am so much more interested in what my body can DO rather than how it looks. I have been trying to adopt that mindset for the past few years, but I guess it took a major shift in body shape, for the first time in my life, to show me that I really can think that way.
